It’s that time of year again.
Yes, Christmas is on its way. It goes without saying that lots of presents, food and booze will be consumed over the coming weeks.
If you’re bearded, you’ll be aware of another tradition. One that happens every year without fail.
It’s of course, the annual tagging in social media posts that mention beard decorations. Every year without fail, people feel the need to let me know they’re on sale. Thanks guys!
Last year it was baubles. This year, its all about beard fairy lights.
Would I like some? Definitely not. In this blog post, I explain why I dislike Christmas lights for beards so much.
Adding to a stereotype
To be honest, I find this assumption quite insulting. I grew my beard for my own personal satisfaction, not to join some movement.
The problem is, beard fairy lights add to this stereotype. Take this post from Instagram for example.
It says you must know a hipster who needs these. But think about it, do you actually know one?
I don’t. Once again, people are making the mistake of putting bearded guys and hipsters in the same box. It drives me up the wall!
Impractical for Christmas festivities
As I said at the start, Christmas is all about food, presents and booze. Well for me it is anyway!
Now picture this. You open one of your presents and find beard fairy lights staring back at you. To avoid appearing rude, you agree to wear them.
This is fine of course. That’s until you eat or drink anything.
Eating with a beard is hard enough. It you’re like me, you’ll have a constant fear of having food stuck in your facial hair. Especially when you’re eating some of these delights.
Beards lights don’t make this any easier. Not only do you have the individual bulbs to content with, you also have to avoid the battery pack that powers them.
If you want a stress-free Christmas dinner, just avoid them completely.
Yes, you should be grateful for every present you receive for Christmas. Even the socks you get from your Mum!
But let’s be honest, every year is a mixed bag. For every present you love, there is always something that ends up in the charity shop in the new year.
You know the ones I mean. The joke presents that are commonly used as stocking fillers.
For me, that’s where ‘beardaments’ belong. They aren’t serious presents. They are simply there to make up the numbers and then be quickly forgotten about.
This is what I have an issue with. Rather than buying something that’s essentially a throwaway, why not give something more meaningful instead?
Beard products are a good start. They’re used daily and with so many to choose from, you can receive one with a scent you love.
But what I prefer are experiences or days out. So, vouchers for a decent beard trim at the local barbers would also be a great choice.
I’m not meaning to sound ungrateful. I just feel if you’re going to buy someone a present, it should mean something and not be just a gimmick because I happen to have a beard.
The truth? I prefer glitter
So, at this point, you’re probably thinking I’m a bit of a scrooge. That I hate Christmas. Or I don’t like having fun.
But that’s not true. I do have a fun side. Even when it comes to my beard!
A few months ago, I was contacted by a company called Eco Glitter Fun.
They sell biodegradable glitter in plastic free packaging and are doing a great job at reducing the amount of plastic used in their industry.
If you’ve ever seen their Instagram page, (it’s amazing,) you’ll notice they work with a lot of models.
So yes, you’ve guessed it. They were looking for a bearded guy to model their glitter for a Halloween shoot and decided to ask me. Here are the results:
View this post on Instagram
I’ve had a go at a bit of beard/glitter modelling 🧔🏻 . Was lovely to be asked by @eco.glitter.fun – I had such a good time 😀 . Maybe I have a future career 😂 . HMUA – @the_pixie_tribe Director – @martin_barry_design Photographer – @mattinrichmomd . #beard #beardstyle #beardsofinstagram #bearded #beardy #beardmaniac #beardstagram #beardedman #beardguy #beardedlife #beardgang #beardpower #beardcare #beardcareproducts #beardoil #beardoils #beardmaintenance#growingabeard #beardtrim #beardyland #beardoil #beardbalm #beardnation #beardcare #beardgains #beardking #beardmovement #beardmodel #beardmodels #halloween #halloweenmakeup
Not bad eh? I was particularly proud of myself as I pushed myself out of my comfort zone.
Am I being hypercritical by saying glitter is fine, but not beard lights?
I don’t think so. For a start, unlike beard lights, the glitter is biodegradable so can be used and then discarded without causing any damage to the environment.
But also, the glitter looks better and is more versatile. You can use it for lots of fancy dress costumes for example. Halloween being the main one! I can’t imagine the beard Christmas lights ever coming in handy for anything like that.
What do you guys think? Would you wear beard lights or baubles on a regular basis? Let me know in the comments below.